


(we see) our spirit flash on a razor blade; a helmet's curve

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Beach Divorce Fix-It (X-Men), Holding Hands, M/M, Mutant Powers, Powerful Charles Xavier, Team as Family, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, X-Men: First Class (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29879547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: "We don't need to kill them to stop them, Erik!" Charles hissed, moving across the sand to grab the back of Erik's neck and force him to meet his eyes."Charles, let me go."He wasn't facing the ocean but he could feel through Moira's mind, always so open, that the missiles were still poised in the air and turned towards the terrified men who were slowly realizing they were going to die.God, they all were going to die.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 17
Kudos: 67





	(we see) our spirit flash on a razor blade; a helmet's curve

**Author's Note:**

> i kept this a little more open-ended in case i wanted to do any more with it!

Charles’ chest was heaving as he sucked in thin breaths of rancid air. Something was burning in the jet and it reeked, horribly so, a stench that Charles hadn’t ever experienced before. The sand under their feet was shifting—or, perhaps, that was merely Charles’ entire world spinning on the axis he’d always known it to be mounted on. World spinning or not, Charles felt like he was sinking into as he staggered a step forward and fear, acidic and sharp, climbed up his belly and burned his throat. 

His eyes were wide. He blinked, dry and terrified, and stared up at the sky.

They’d... they’d fired at them.  _ Good god, _ they’d fired at them without a single ounce of hesitation. Moira hadn’t been able to contact anyone, and they’d  _ fired at them. _ Charles knew that it wasn’t nearly that simple, that the men in those boats truly were following orders that they didn’t understand, not in the slightest, but Charles, he hadn’t thought, he, he hadn’t—

The missiles turned in the air, waiting and aimed and poised to fire back, to shed blood and start a  _ war _ they would never be able to win. His blood ran cold as a shiver raced down his spine. 

When he looked over at Erik, he didn’t recognize the man standing in his skin. 

He had to stop this. 

“We don't need to kill them to stop them, Erik!” Charles shouted, moving across the sand to grab the back of Erik's neck and force him down to meet his eyes. They were shadowed by the  _ bloody _ helmet but Charles stood tall, looking at Erik and not recognizing the man looking back at him. 

He was desperate. They were both so, so desperate. 

“Charles, let me go.” 

He wasn't facing the ocean but he could feel through Moira's mind, always so open, that the missiles were still poised in the air and turned towards the  _ terrified _ men who were slowly realizing they were going to die.

God, they all were going to die.

His hand flexed on the back of Erik’s neck, and he did his best to hold himself steady.

“No, Erik. We aren't going to win this war if we win this battle, my friend,” Charles said, softer, aiming to soothe as he rubbed his thumb across the sharp jut of Erik's jaw underneath the helmet. His eyes were wild, but so was Charles. “Let me fight this one, please? Drop the missiles and let me protect what is ours. You've fought enough for us today.”

“You don't know what you're asking of me, Geliebter.” Erik's voice was a raw whisper that Charles treasured and held close to his heart for the way it bled with honesty. Erik reached out and tangled their fingers together, holding on so tightly Charles thought he could feel his bones grinding together.

“Darling, believe me, I do,” Charles whispered back. 

He could still feel the way Erik had split Shaw’s mind apart. 

He didn’t think he’d ever forget. 

Erik took a deep breath, and when he let it out, it was as if his entire body deflated through it. The tension in his shoulders bled from his frame, and the sharp, manic look in his eyes melted into something Charles would call terrified on anyone else. 

Erik was a survivor, a  _ fighter, _ in ways Charles hadn’t ever been. He knew what Erik wanted, and he knew why he wanted to go to war. But Erik had fought different battles than him, and this was one Charles knew Erik couldn’t win. 

He could, though. 

He could fight this one, if it meant keeping his family safe. 

Before he did anything else, however, he raised an eyebrow and looked at Erik as dryly as he could. 

“My apologies, Schatz,” Erik murmured under his breath, dropping his eyes to the sand as the helmet lifted off his head. Charles held his mind back for only a moment, one that stretched on for a breathless eternity, before Erik leaned forward and rested their foreheads together. 

“Darling,” Charles breathed as he dived in, submerging himself in the familiar sea of Erik’s thoughts. A whisper of a smile danced at his face as he went through Erik’s mind, soothing the jagged, torn-open edges of Erik’s memories. 

Erik’s mind was racing, a turbulent crash of unsteady glimpses of thought. They tore at Charles’ heart so he did his best to ease the pain of them, gentling Erik’s anger and grief as he reached up to touch Erik’s cheek, freely exposed to him again. Despite the minutes they’d spent apart, it felt like a  _ lifetime _ since Charles had last emerged himself in Erik’s familiar mind, and as he pressed forward, the edges of themselves blurred together until they were  _ them. _

All at once, it felt like his world had righted itself. It stopped spinning, resting again on its familiar axis.

Charles breathed in once, twice, and felt the heaviness of responsibility like a curse across his shoulders. 

One of them was going to have to save them. Charles knew it had to to be him. 

He could feel the thoughts of the others. Their worry and their terror. He could feel the hold Erik had on the missiles, and knew how easy it would be to reach deep in Erik’s chest and do whatever he willed with the man’s mutation. He could do anything and everything but he wouldn’t, not to Erik.

His power had always felt like a burden; he had to wonder if it was one too heavy to bear? 

Charles looked up into Erik’s eyes and saw the storm that raged in his mind. Charles believed what he had said; winning this battle would not win this war for them. If anything it would doom them to a worse fate than the path they were already carefully treading, a fate Charles could hardly imagine without his chest seizing up in fear. 

He knew what he needed to do. 

_ Blow them up, _ Charles pressed, a plea and an order in one.

He could feel Erik’s hesitance like it was his own, and he pushed forward the most genuine smile he could muster, for Erik’s sake and for his own.  _ Are you sure we won’t need them? _

_ Are you doubting me now? _ Charles teased, slipping humour along Erik’s thoughts that was returned with the sense of an embrace that pushed warmth into Charles’ chest. 

A second later, a thunderous roar of explosions rang through Charles’ ears until he couldn’t hear a single thing. Blinking his eyes open from where they’d fallen closed against the onslaught of noise, he looked around at the mutants gathered with them, at Moira, and knew what he had to do. 

“I only need a few more minutes,” Charles called, once his hearing had stopped ringing and the sound of the ocean around them filtered back into his senses. 

He surveyed who was with them as his mind worked quickly, Erik’s thoughts overlapping his own as a plan built and flushed out between them. He narrowed his eyes at the red-skinned man and quickly looked through Hank’s memories to be sure of his abilities. 

“When I’m done, can you take us out of here?” 

The teleporter looked at him and tilted his head to the side. Charles pushed into his mind without pause, finding it wholly focused on the younger man standing at his side, filled with thoughts of his safety and very little else. With narrowed eyes, Charles pressed even deeper and found out why. 

Ah, that made sense. 

“We will keep you two safe,” Charles promised, only loud enough for his voice to carry. The teleporter’s eyes went wide, and Charles rummaged about for a name. “Azazel, I give you my word. The two of you will be safe.”

He held up his and Erik’s hand, fingers still linked together. There was shock from Azazel and his partner—Janos, a young deaf man whose mutation Charles recognized from the night that had started this entire journey—but none from anyone else. While he and Erik hadn’t  _ advertised _ that they were together, they certainly hadn’t hidden it from those who lived with them.

Another moment, and the teleporter clearly said, “Da.”

“Charles, what are you—” Raven’s voice was tinged with fear, and Charles could do nothing but smile weakly. 

“We’ve fought enough among us already. To get out of this, to get onto the other side of this fight _ , _ we need to work together.” Charles made sure to raise his voice loud enough for everyone to hear. He looked specifically at Angel, who dropped her eyes. “We need to be united, if we’re going to keep ourselves safe.”

Charles looked at each of the bloodied and bruised  _ children _ he’d turned into soldiers, and ached for them. “I need a few minutes, and I need your trust.”

Alex was the first to step forward, followed quickly by Sean and then Raven, who surpassed the boys until she was only a few feet away. Azazel and Janos appeared next to his sister in a flash of smoke, and then Angel was stepping up beside the boys. She and Sean shared a look, then leaned against each other for support. Hank took two slow steps, before taking another three to stand tall next to Alex. 

Moira didn’t move from her spot beside the plane, but Charles didn’t have enough energy to think on why that was. 

The widest, most genuine smile he’d been able to muster since their plane first crashed came to his lips with ease. These people were standing at his side and putting their trust in him. Two men he didn’t know, a young girl he hadn’t done enough for, and the children whose lives he’d endangered for a hopeless crusade. They were  _ trusting  _ him to keep them safe, and Charles wouldn’t let that trust go to waste.

He pushed himself to stand tall despite the sudden exhaustion weighing him down. It had been a long day, and it wouldn’t be over for quite some time. He looked to Erik, who was watching him with a warmth in his eyes that Charles wasn’t ready to name, not on this beach, not with their lives in Charles’ hands, but that gave him strength all the same. With a deep breath that expanded his chest, Charles let his eyes flutter closed and grounded himself in Erik's touch. 

He didn’t raise a hand to his temple. No, Charles was focused enough as it was. 

He knew he could do this. 

Another deep breath, and Charles’ heart started  _ racing _ as he cast out his mind, stretching his mutation further than he'd  _ ever _ imagined possible. It built and built and built, speeding over the sea as he searched for what he needed, and then let it grow  _ larger, _ widening into something he previously would have thought impossible. 

In the back of his mind, he could feel the strength of Erik’s sure, steady thoughts, built up like reinforced steel. He felt the familiar cool breath of Raven’s love, something he’d known for decades. There were Sean’s loud, erratic thoughts and Alex’s tremulous emotions, burning through his mind and into Charles’. Hank’s calm, analytical presence and, lesser to that, Angel’s darkness, fleeting flashes from Azazel, and a windstorm that had to be Janos. 

Charles took strength from it all. He pulled support from his kind, from his  _ family, _ as he stood tall. His fingers ached where he was squeezing Erik’s hand as his mind felt like it was being split apart, and still he stretched further. 

And then...

Then, he fought.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> kudos aren’t the same as getting a comment, not even close. so a comment, as short and sweet or as sprawling and sporadic as you can manage, would be _greatly_ appreciated! don't know what to comment? how about _”this was great!”_ or _“awesome work!”_
> 
> i run an 18+ x-men discord server! check it out [here!](https://discord.gg/pebvUEnWB6)


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